College vs. High School

            College so far is going quite well and believe it or not it has been quite fun. College is really different than high school. Compared to high school, I have a lot more time outside of class as I spend less time in class. I’ve had to learn to manage this extra time. In high school it seems like my parents and teachers helped structure my time, telling me what I should do on assignments and such. This isn’t the case anymore; I’ve had to learn to manage my time. Unlike high school, Professors assign papers that will be due like 3 weeks later and not mention the paper again until its time to collect it. This has forced me to keep on task with my assignments. I now have to plan when I will do various parts of the assignment so that I am not trying to write a 10 page paper the night before it is due.

            The professors here at Xavier are of way higher quality than the teachers I dealt with in high school. In high school it seems like a lot of the teachers hated their jobs and were “counting down the days till their retirement.” Teachers here seem to be passionate about and love the subjects that they teach. Not only do they seem to love teaching, they have work experience in their subject and actually know what they are talking about. The professors here don’t just read straight from a textbook like most of my high school teachers did.

            I haven’t failed any assignments or tests yet and have done decent grade-wise on every subject. All of my mid-term grades where either B+’s or B’s. I’m not satisfied with these grades, but I’m not 100% unhappy with myself either. Especially considering that most of my friends and people in my dorm received lower grades, many of which also have more lenient/easier professors. In high school it was really easy to get A’s, all you had to do is put forth effort and memorize facts and terms. Here at Xavier, It seems like you can work your butt off, know all the facts and terms on the test/exam really well, and still end up with a B. To get an A most of my Professors expect you to make connections, outside of the terms and facts mentioned in class and found in the textbook.

            College up to now has been a learning experience. I have had to learn to manage my time and stay on task. The biggest thing for me so far has been learning to stay “unstressed.” Every week I receive tons of work from my classes. I look at this work and think to myself “theirs no way I am going to be able to do this with the time I have”, and begin to get really stressed out while I sit there wondering how I am going to manage to do all of it. In reality, I have more than enough time to finish all of the work. By sitting there and stressing out I am wasting tons of time, time in which I could have done a considerable amount of the work. Every week I manage to get all my work done. Overtime this has begun to make me realize more and more that I have a lot more time than I first thought. A lot of this “stressing” has to do with the fact that I am still used to my high school days, where I really didn’t have a lot of time outside of school. I have started to realize that I have a lot of time, making it possible to get all of the assignments completed. Continuing in to the second half of the semester, I need to continue to stay on task and start planning on my day better than I am currently doing. I believe that by planning my day better I will more so realize that I have a lot of time to complete everything. By realizing that it’s possible to finish everything I feel that I can eliminate most of this “stress” that I have been dealing with. 

Not Necessarily Happily Ever After

            According to Wikipedia, an arrange marriage is a marriage arranged by someone other than the couple getting married which avoids the process of courtship. Arranged marriages have been around for centuries, with roots that go back as far as Middle Ages Europe. In Middle Ages Europe arranged marriages where necessary for survival. According to Historian E.J. Graff, arranged marriages during this time also “ensured inheritances, and stitched together the social, political, and religious needs of a community.” To this this day arranged marriages can still found in places such as India where it is the prevalent form of marriage. Here in America, marriage is viewed as a product of “love”, where individuals freely choose their partner. Critics of arranged marriage argue that love is a “sensational force that can not be forced,” therefore love marriages are the way to go as the relationships are based on “compatibility.” However, I don’t entirely agree with this point. I don’t necessarily believe that the western tradition of marriage is any better than the tradition of arranged marriage, especially in the context which western marriages are formed.

            I believe that the western romance scene is influenced too heavily by pop culture. Pop-culture has given us a view of marriage whereas two individuals are “struck” by a force of love, become happily married, and thereby live “happily ever after” like a fairytale. Within this, I believe that there lie several issues. First of all, love under this theory is based entirely off of this “impression” of love, where Individuals fall into a “love at first sight”, which is often based of physical attraction. By doing so, individuals fall into a deep state that I would almost consider “coma-like.” These people become so convinced that this person is “the one” that they are willing to do just about anything. Even though, in the back of their minds, they may realize that they are not compatible with this person, many individuals will force themselves into believing that they are “destined” to be together. I am convinced that compatibility cannot be forced. Individuals may be able to produce a “fake” version of themself, however their “true self” will eventually be revealed causing great incompatibility. In addition to this people’s looks change over time, no one will look the same as they do today ten years from now. If the relationship is based entirely off of “physical attraction” it is imminent to fail when the person looks different a decade later.

            In my opinion, arranged marriage as a much more stable version of marriage. Under arranged marriage an elder relative such as your parent pick who you would you marry. This elder relative searches for your mate, looking for individuals who share the same values and characteristics as you and your family. Of course there is always a chance that this “matchmaker” can have other priorities upon their mind, such as bringing wealth into a family. However, often times this is not the case. These individuals are not biased by the “love curse” portrayed in the western tradition of marriage, leading these matching’s to be truly based off of “compatibility” instead arbitrary reasons such as looks.

            By going with arranged marriages we are sacrificing the “freely falling into love” idea. Despite doing so, though arranged marriages we are taking emotion out of the matchmaking equation, which leads to more stable relationships, furthering the “happily ever after” view. Statistics back up my belief, just look at divorce rates. Divorce rates in areas prevalent with arranged marriages are between 0 to 4 percent (Danny). Compare that to the western divorce rate of approximately 50 percent (Danny). The western version of marriage may not necessarily be the “happily ever after” in which it is portrayed.

Sources:

http://www.helium.com/items/234700-the-reality-of-arranged-marriages

http://www.utne.com/2003-05-01/whats-love-got-to-do-with-it.aspx